The Sound of Confidence

I have finally figured out why I can’t fall in love with Captain von Trapp as he is depicted in the movie version of The Sound of Music. To wit, I never wanted to be Maria (also as portrayed in the movie)! Even though she got most of the best songs, the only one I ever really took to heart was this one.

Did anyone know that it is really hard to find a full-length video of this song with Julie Andrews singing it?

Anyway, Maria was the epitome of what every good girl (sarcasm font, please) could be and what every… decent man wanted, right? Well, I wasn’t buying it then, and I remain uninterested now. A captain with seven children… Actually, I am quite fond of children, especially other people’s children, but I have no desire to become their mother. I’m certainly not going to marry a rich man so I can stop getting paid for the job I’m already doing, even if the kids are cute and can sing and operate puppets.

As for dressing in brown burlap and old curtains, you can forget it!

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Now, which shoes shall I wear?

Even Miss Scarlett got busted for trying that wardrobe trick! What hope did a soon-to-be-former nun have?

I saw these in the window, and I just have to have them!

And as for evening wear, what kind of employer tells the governess to bring the children to a formal gathering in his own home, but doesn’t at least provide a dress with the appropriate hemline (if only to hide the inappropriate shoes) ?

And in the center ring, ladies and gentlemen…

Or can he be forgiven for not thinking of such things because he had more important things on his mind? As men do.

I will not tolerate evil. I must find someone who will take care of me and my children… as we all flee to a better place.

The Baroness had her own status- and money- and knew how to use both to her own advantage,  unlike Maria who had to flit and float about trying to figure out if she was good enough for the Captain who was, after all, willing to settle for little ole her. Elsa, Baronness von Schraeder knew what she wanted out of life. She wanted the Captain.

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Oh! How I adore listening to other people’s children sing!

A new governess would also be needed- at least until all the children were old enough to send to boarding school. The Captain was never going to be home anyway. I’m guessing that the Baroness and Liesl would have gotten along just fine after a few initial fireworks. Either that, or Miss 16-Going-On-30 would have been the one in the convent.

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That girl has got to go- after the kids though.

Perhaps if Maria had really gotten to wear the outfit- complete with coordinating Barbie luggage- from the various products that accompanied the movie, she would have had more confidence.

Then again, those pink pumps would have put an end to her Alpine romps.

The Captain’s procrastination and… etc. caused his whole family to make sacrifices from which even Rogers and Hammerstein could not compose a decent recovery. Meanwhile, we are supposed to dislike the Baroness?

For crying out loud! There were seven children! Why would they have wanted to play with a grown-up anyway? Except maybe Liesl. I still think she and the Baroness could have been the toast of Austrian society and probably taken out quite a few Nazis as well.

Let us not forget who makes the grandest gesture in this movie. Yep, it’s Elsa, Baroness von Schraeder. She puts her own desires aside, as one does, so that her Captain, his children, and his soon-to-be-wife-ex-nun/governess can all hike off into an uncertain yet decidedly mountainous future. If one must break an engagement, one must look good while doing so- especially if saving face for both parties in the soon-to-be-over relationship.

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Grab a clue, Cap’n.

¬†Like another of my favorite movie heroines, Auntie Mame, the Baroness knew how to live, live, live- and let live. She had the confidence and generosity of spirit to step aside- quietly, without singing- and live to fight another day. She knew exactly how to solve a problem like Maria, and that such a problem wasn’t worth wrinkles in her brow or her couture.

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